Exploring how families, schools, and communities can help build stronger social connections
By Siti Salihah
As part of our ongoing conversation with Dr. Lavanya Pillai, this third instalment shifts the spotlight onto a crucial pillar in a young person’s life: their support system. While loneliness is often seen as a personal experience, it’s also deeply shaped by the people around us—especially parents, teachers, and the wider community.
Support doesn’t always come in big, dramatic gestures. Sometimes, it’s simply about being present, listening without judgement, or creating environments where young people feel like they belong. And when that support is missing, loneliness can quietly grow, often hand in hand with anxiety or depression.
Dr. Lavanya shares how families, schools, and communities can build better bridges of connection—and what to do when those bridges feel too hard to cross. Her advice offers not only guidance for adults but also reassurance for young people who may feel like they have nowhere to turn.
1Twenty80: How can parents, schools, and communities better support young people in building meaningful social connections to prevent loneliness?
Lavanya Pillai:
Parents:
- Be Present and Engaged: Make time for quality family time, even if it’s just a few minutes each day. Listen to your kids, ask them about their friends, and show interest in their lives. It’s like letting them know that you care and that you’re there for them.
- Encourage Social Interaction: Support your kids in joining clubs, sports teams, or other activities where they can meet new people. Help them find opportunities to connect with others who share their interests. It’s like opening doors to a world of possibilities.
- Model Healthy Relationships: Show your kids what healthy relationships look like by being a good friend, partner, and family member. It’s like teaching them by example, showing them how to build strong, meaningful connections.
- Talk About Mental Health: Openly discuss mental health with your kids and let them know that it’s okay to seek help if they’re struggling. It’s like breaking down the stigma and creating a safe space for them to talk about their feelings.
Schools:
- Create Inclusive Environments: Foster a culture of respect and acceptance where everyone feels welcome and valued. Encourage teamwork and collaboration and provide opportunities for students to connect with each other. It’s like building a community where everyone feels like they belong.
- Offer Social-Emotional Learning Programs: Teach students about social skills, emotional regulation, and healthy relationships. It’s like giving them the tools they need to navigate social situations and build strong connections.
- Provide Support Services: Offer counseling services, peer support groups, and other resources for students who are struggling with loneliness or mental health issues. It’s like creating a safety net for those who need it.
Communities:
- Promote Community Events: Organize events and activities that bring people together, such as festivals, concerts, or sports leagues. It’s like creating opportunities for people to connect and build relationships.
- Support Youth Organizations: Provide funding and resources for youth organizations, such as Boys & Girls Clubs, YMCA, and community centers. These organizations offer programs and activities that help young people develop social skills and build connections. It’s like investing in the future of our community.
- Create Safe Spaces: Provide safe and welcoming spaces for young people to gather, such as libraries, parks, and community centers. It’s like creating a haven where they can feel comfortable and connected.
1Twenty80: On the contrary, some young people may fear telling their parents or guardians about their mental health struggles. What is your advice?
Lavanya Pillai: It’s hard enough to deal with mental health struggles, but it can feel even more daunting to open up to parents or guardians. They might be afraid of being judged, misunderstood, or even dismissed.
A little advice for young people who are struggling with this:
- Find a Trusted Adult: If you’re not comfortable talking to your parents, try reaching out to another trusted adult, like a teacher, counselor, or another family member. It’s important to have someone you can confide in, someone who will listen and offer support.
- Start Small: You don’t have to tell them everything at once. Start by sharing a small part of what you’re going through and see how they react. If they’re receptive, you can gradually open up more. It’s like taking baby steps, building trust and communication over time.
- Focus on Your Needs: Remember that your mental health is important. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself and to ask for the support you need. It’s okay to say, “I’m struggling, and I need help.” It’s like taking care of yourself, and that’s a sign of strength.
- Consider Professional Help: If you’re not comfortable talking to your parents or guardians, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe and confidential space for you to talk about your feelings and to develop coping strategies. It’s like having a guide on your journey, someone who understands and can help you navigate your challenges.
Remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many young people struggle with mental health issues, and it’s important to seek help if you need it. There are people who care about you and want to support you. Take a deep breath and know that you’re not alone.
1Twenty80: WHO reports that loneliness in school can lead to young people dropping out of university. What can educational institutions do to help students feel more connected and supported?
Lavanya Pillai:
- Foster a Sense of Belonging: Create a culture where everyone feels welcome and valued, regardless of their background, interests, or abilities. Encourage teamwork and collaboration, and provide opportunities for students to connect with each other. It’s like building a community where everyone feels like they belong.
- Promote Social Interaction: Organize social events, clubs, and activities that bring students together. It’s like creating opportunities for them to connect with others who share their interests.
- Offer Mentorship Programs: Pair students with mentors who can provide guidance, support, and a listening ear. It’s like having a trusted friend who can offer encouragement and advice.
- Provide Support Services: Offer counseling services, peer support groups, and other resources for students who are struggling with loneliness or mental health issues. It’s like creating a safety net for those who need it.
- Train Faculty and Staff: Educate faculty and staff on the signs and symptoms of loneliness and how to create a more supportive environment. It’s like equipping them with the tools they need to help students who are struggling.
- Promote Open Communication: Encourage open communication between students and faculty. Create a culture where students feel comfortable talking about their challenges and seeking help. It’s like building a bridge of trust and understanding.
1Twenty80: How does loneliness intersect with other mental health issues like anxiety and depression among young people, and what signs should parents or teachers watch out for?
Lavanya Pillai: You’re right to point that out. Loneliness often goes hand in hand with other mental health issues, especially anxiety and depression, creating a complex and challenging situation for young people. It’s like a vicious cycle, feeding off each other and making things worse.
Loneliness can intersect with anxiety and depression through the following:
- Anxiety: Loneliness can fuel anxiety. Feeling isolated and disconnected can lead to worries about social situations, fear of rejection, and a constant sense of unease. It’s like they’re always on edge, anticipating the worst.
- Depression: Loneliness can contribute to depression. Feeling isolated and lacking connection can lead to feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and worthlessness. It’s like a dark cloud hanging over them, making it hard to see the light.
- Increased Vulnerability: Loneliness can make young people more vulnerable to other mental health issues. They might be more likely to engage in risky behaviors, such as substance abuse or self-harm, to cope with their feelings. It’s like they’re searching for a way to escape their pain.
These are some signs parents or teachers should watch out for:
- Changes in Behavior: Noticeable changes in behavior, such as withdrawing from friends and activities, spending more time alone, or neglecting their responsibilities. It’s like they’re shutting down and pulling away from the world.
- Emotional Changes: Increased sadness, irritability, anger, or anxiety. It’s like their emotions are on a rollercoaster, and they’re struggling to manage them.
- Physical Symptoms: Changes in sleep patterns, appetite, or energy levels. It’s like their body is telling them that something is wrong.
- Academic Struggles: Decreased grades, difficulty concentrating, or a lack of interest in school. It’s like their motivation and focus are fading away.
- Social Isolation: Avoiding social situations, feeling uncomfortable around others, or having difficulty making friends. It’s like they’re building walls around themselves, afraid to let anyone in.
If you’re concerned about a young person’s mental health, it’s important to reach out for help. Talk to them, listen to their concerns, and encourage them to seek professional support. It’s like being a beacon of hope, showing them that they’re not alone and that there’s help available.
As we wrap up this part of the Loneliness Across Generations series, we look ahead to the unique struggles faced by older adults. In the next article, we’ll explore how loneliness affects the elderly and the quiet, yet significant, ways they navigate isolation in later life.
