Loneliness Across Generations: Among the Elderly

Closing the Loneliness Across Generations series by focusing on older adults and the challenges they face in staying connected

By Siti Salihah 

In this final chapter of our series with Dr. Lavanya Pillai, we turn our attention to a group often overlooked in conversations about loneliness—older adults. While retirement is often painted as a time of rest and freedom, the reality can be far lonelier, especially if there is the loss of a partner, declining health, or shifting family dynamics.

Stigma around loneliness, limited access to social support, and financial constraints can make it harder for older adults to reach out or feel connected. And the consequences go beyond emotional wellbeing—loneliness in older adults has been linked to higher risks of dementia, heart disease, and depression.

But it’s not all bleak. Dr. Lavanya walks us through the deeper causes of loneliness in later life and shares meaningful ways we—families, communities, and society—can help our elderly feel seen, valued, and supported.

1Twenty80: The WHO reports that loneliness in older adults is linked to a 50% increased risk of  developing dementia. What are some of the underlying causes of loneliness in older adults, particularly in retirement or after the loss of loved ones? 

Lavanya Pillai: It’s a sobering statistic, isn’t it? Loneliness can have such a profound impact on our  mental and physical health, especially as we age. Here are some of the underlying  causes of loneliness in older adults, particularly in retirement or after the loss of loved  ones: 

• Loss of Social Networks: Retirement can disrupt long-standing social connections,  and the loss of loved ones can leave a gaping hole in their lives. It’s like a sudden  shift in their social landscape, leaving them feeling isolated and adrift. 
• Physical Limitations: As we age, physical limitations can make it harder to  participate in activities we once enjoyed, leading to social isolation. It’s like their  world is shrinking, and they’re losing their sense of independence. 
• Changes in Family Dynamics: Children and grandchildren often move away,  leaving older adults feeling disconnected from their families. It’s like a shift in the  family unit, leaving them feeling like they’re on the sidelines. 
• Stigma Around Loneliness: There’s often a stigma around loneliness, making it  difficult for older adults to reach out for help. They might feel ashamed or  embarrassed to admit that they’re struggling. It’s like a silent struggle, hidden  behind a facade of independence. 

1Twenty80: What roles do societal expectations and ageism play in increasing feelings of loneliness among older people? 

Lavanya Pillai:

• The ‘Invisible’ Generation: Older adults are often stereotyped as frail, dependent,  and out of touch. This can lead to a sense of being ignored or dismissed, making them feel like they’re not valued or needed. It’s like they’re becoming invisible,  their experiences and contributions overlooked. 
• The ‘Useless’ Label: Retirement is often seen as the end of a person’s usefulness,  which can lead to feelings of worthlessness and isolation. It’s like society is telling them, “You’re no longer needed,” which can be incredibly damaging to their self-esteem. 
• Lack of Opportunities: Older adults often face age discrimination, making it harder to find jobs, volunteer opportunities, or social activities. It’s like they’re being shut out of opportunities that could help them stay engaged and connected. 
• Focus on Youth: Our culture often prioritizes youth and beauty, making older  adults feel like they’re no longer attractive or desirable. It’s like they’re being told  that their age makes them irrelevant, which can lead to feelings of sadness and  isolation. 

It’s important to challenge these negative stereotypes and to create a society where older adults feel valued, respected, and included. We need to recognize their contributions, celebrate their wisdom, and provide them with opportunities to stay active and engaged. It’s about creating a world where everyone feels like they belong,  regardless of their age. 

1Twenty80: How does loneliness affect the physical health of older adults, increasing their risk of diseases like heart disease and stroke?

Lavanya Pillai: Loneliness isn’t just an emotional state; it can have a profound impact on our physical health, especially as we age. 

• Stress Response: Loneliness triggers the body’s stress response, releasing hormones like cortisol. Chronic stress can lead to high blood pressure, inflammation,  and a weakened immune system, all of which increase the risk of heart disease and stroke. It’s like the body is constantly in fight-or-flight mode, taking a toll on its systems.
• Unhealthy Habits: Loneliness can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as overeating, smoking, or excessive alcohol consumption. These habits contribute to heart disease and stroke by increasing blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and inflammation. It’s like they’re trying to numb the pain of loneliness, but it’s actually harming their health. 
• Reduced Physical Activity: Loneliness can lead to social isolation and a decline in physical activity. Lack of exercise contributes to heart disease and stroke by increasing the risk of obesity, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. It’s like their bodies are becoming less resilient, making them more vulnerable to these diseases. 
• Weakened Immune System: Loneliness can weaken the immune system, making older adults more susceptible to infections and illnesses. A weakened immune system can increase the risk of heart disease and stroke, as these conditions can be triggered by infections or inflammation. It’s like their defenses are down, making them more vulnerable to harm. 

It’s crucial to recognise the link between loneliness and physical health, especially in older adults. By promoting social connections, encouraging healthy habits, and providing support for those who are struggling, we can help older adults live longer,  healthier lives. 

1Twenty80: Older adults may be less open to therapy as a solution to loneliness. What alternative forms of support could be beneficial for them?

Lavanya Pillai: You’re right, therapy might not always be the first choice for older adults. They might have concerns about cost, stigma, or simply prefer other forms of support. Perhaps they  can try some alternatives that can be incredibly beneficial: 

• Social Groups and Activities: Encourage participation in senior centers, community groups, clubs, or volunteer organizations. It’s about creating a sense of belonging and purpose, fostering connections with like-minded individuals. It’s like finding a new tribe, a place where they feel valued and connected. 
• Intergenerational Programs: Connect older adults with younger generations through mentoring programs, volunteer opportunities, or simply shared activities. It’s about bridging the gap between generations, creating a sense of community and shared purpose. It’s like building bridges of understanding and connection. 
• Pet Therapy: Pets can provide companionship, reduce stress, and promote physical activity. It’s like having a furry friend who offers unconditional love and support. It’s a source of comfort and joy, especially for those who might be living alone.
• Technology Support: Help older adults learn how to use technology to stay connected with friends and family, access online communities, or participate in virtual  activities. It’s like bridging the digital divide, opening up new avenues for connection  and engagement. 
• Community Outreach: Encourage regular check-ins with older adults, either through  phone calls, visits, or home-delivered meals. It’s about showing them that they’re not  forgotten, that someone cares about their well-being. It’s like a reminder that they’re  part of a community, that they’re not alone. 

We have to keep in mind that, it’s about finding what works best for each individual. By  offering a variety of options, we can help older adults find the support they need to  combat loneliness and live fulfilling lives. 

1Twenty80: How can family members and caregivers better identify and address loneliness in older adults who may not openly express their feelings?

Lavanya Pillai: Sometimes, older adults might not express their loneliness directly, making it harder for  family members and caregivers to identify and address it. When that happens, perhaps  you can try some tips to help: 

• Pay Attention to Changes: Look for subtle changes in their behavior, like  withdrawing from social activities, losing interest in hobbies, or becoming more  isolated. It’s like noticing the ripples in the water, indicating a deeper current of  loneliness. 
• Observe Body Language: Pay attention to their body language, such as slumped  posture, decreased eye contact, or a lack of energy. It’s like their body is telling a  story, expressing the pain of loneliness. 
• Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking direct questions about loneliness, try  asking open-ended questions about their day, their feelings, or their social life. It’s  like creating a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings without  feeling pressured. 
• Listen Actively: When they do open up, listen attentively without judgment or  interruption. Show empathy and understanding. It’s like offering a listening ear, a  safe haven for their emotions. 
• Encourage Socialization: Suggest activities that might interest them, such as joining  a community group, attending a concert, or going for a walk in the park. It’s like  gently nudging them towards social connection, offering opportunities to build  relationships. 
• Offer Practical Support: Help them with tasks that might be challenging due to age  or health limitations, such as transportation, grocery shopping, or home maintenance.  It’s like offering a helping hand, making it easier for them to stay connected and  engaged. 
• Don’t Dismiss Their Feelings: If they express feelings of loneliness, don’t dismiss  them or tell them to “snap out of it.” Acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences. It’s like showing them that you understand and care about their  struggles.

At the end of the day, it’s about building trust and creating a safe space for open  communication. By being attentive, empathetic, and supportive, family members and  caregivers can help older adults combat loneliness and live more fulfilling lives. We would be  in their shoes one day too. 

1Twenty80: With so many elderly people living alone, especially after retirement or the death of a spouse, how can communities or governments create programs that foster social  connections for the elderly? 

Lavanya Pillai: It’s a societal challenge to ensure that older adults, especially those living alone, have  opportunities to stay connected and engaged. Here are some ideas for communities and  governments to create programs that foster social connections for the elderly, some may  already exist though: 

• Community Centers and Senior Hubs: Establish dedicated community centers or senior hubs that offer a variety of programs and activities, such as fitness classes, arts and crafts, social gatherings, and educational workshops. It’s like creating a  vibrant hub where older adults can connect with others, learn new skills, and stay  active. 
• Transportation Services: Provide affordable or subsidized transportation services to  help older adults access community centers, social events, and medical  appointments. It’s like breaking down the barriers to social participation, making it  easier for them to get out and about. 
• Intergenerational Programs: Develop programs that bring together older adults and  younger generations, such as mentoring programs, volunteer opportunities, or  shared activities. It’s about fostering cross-generational connections, creating a  sense of community and shared purpose. 
• Technology Training: Offer technology training programs to help older adults learn  how to use computers, smartphones, and social media to stay connected with friends  and family. It’s like bridging the digital divide, opening up new avenues for  communication and engagement. 
• Volunteer Opportunities: Create opportunities for older adults to volunteer in their  communities, such as working at libraries, hospitals, or schools. It’s about providing a sense of purpose and belonging, giving them a chance to contribute to their  communities. 
• Social Prescribing: Implement social prescribing programs, where healthcare  professionals refer patients to community-based programs and activities that address  social isolation and loneliness. It’s like a holistic approach to well-being, addressing  the social determinants of health. 
• Public Awareness Campaigns: Launch public awareness campaigns to raise  awareness about the issue of loneliness in older adults and encourage people to  reach out to those who might be struggling. It’s about breaking down the stigma and  fostering a culture of compassion and support. 

1Twenty80: Elderly individuals may be relying on their retirement funds to help with their  expenditures and hence, they may think twice about spending on meals with friends or even therapy. How can they maintain a healthy mental health while on a budget? 

Lavanya Pillai: Older adults often have to be mindful of their finances, but that shouldn’t come at the  expense of their mental health. Perhaps can try these tips for maintaining a healthy  mental health while on a budget: 

• Prioritize Social Connection: Focus on free or low-cost activities that foster social  connection, such as joining a book club, attending community events, or volunteering. It’s about finding ways to connect with others without breaking the  bank. 
• Explore Free Resources: Many communities offer free or low-cost programs for  seniors, such as fitness classes, art workshops, or support groups. It’s about  leveraging the resources available to them, finding ways to stay active and engaged  without spending a lot of money. 
• Get Creative with Meals: Cook meals at home or invite friends over for potlucks. It’s  about finding ways to enjoy meals together without spending a lot on dining out. 
• Embrace Free Activities: Enjoy free activities like walking in nature, spending time at the library, or attending free concerts or events. It’s about appreciating the simple  things in life, finding joy in the everyday.
• Seek Free or Low-Cost Support: Many organizations offer free or low-cost  counseling services for seniors. It’s about accessing professional support without  breaking the bank. 
• Focus on Self-Care: Engage in free or low-cost self-care activities, such as  meditation, yoga, or journaling. It’s about taking care of their mental and emotional  well-being without spending a lot of money.

Consider this, it’s about finding a balance between financial responsibility and mental  well-being. Hence, by getting creative, exploring free resources, and prioritizing social  connection, older adults can maintain a healthy mental health while on a budget. It’s  about finding joy and purpose in their lives, regardless of their financial situation. 

1Twenty80: Technology can be intimidating for older adults, which may exacerbate feelings of  isolation. How can we bridge the digital divide to help them stay connected with loved  ones and their communities? 

Lavanya Pillai: Yes, the digital divide can be a real barrier for older adults, making them feel even more  isolated. It’s like a wall separating them from the world of online connection. Here are  some ways to bridge the digital divide and help them connect: 

• Start Small and Simple: Don’t overwhelm them with complex devices or  complicated apps. Start with basic technology like a smartphone or tablet and teach  them one thing at a time. It’s like taking baby steps, building confidence and  familiarity. 
• Focus on What Matters Most: Help them learn how to use the technology that’s  most important to them, such as making phone calls, sending text messages, or  using video chat to connect with loved ones. It’s about prioritizing their needs and  making technology work for them. 
• Use Familiar Analogy: Explain new technology using terms and concepts they  already understand. For example, compare a smartphone to a phone book or a  video chat to a face-to-face conversation. It’s about bridging the gap between the old  and the new, making it easier for them to grasp.
• Offer Personalized Support: Provide one-on-one support and guidance, either from  family members, friends, or community organizations. It’s about having a patient and  understanding guide, someone who can answer their questions and troubleshoot problems. 
• Create Accessible Resources: Develop resources that are tailored to older adults,  such as simplified instructions, large fonts, and clear visuals. It’s about making  technology more user-friendly and accessible to everyone. 
• Promote Digital Literacy Programs: Offer free or low-cost digital literacy programs  that teach basic computer skills, internet safety, and social media etiquette. It’s about  empowering them to become more confident and comfortable with technology. 
• Encourage Community Connection: Create online communities or groups  specifically for older adults where they can connect with others, share experiences,  and access information. It’s about fostering a sense of belonging and support, even  in the digital world. 

It’s about patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. By bridging the digital divide, we can help older adults stay connected with their loved ones, their communities,  and the world around them. It’s about opening doors to new possibilities and empowering them to live more fulfilling lives. 

1Twenty80: Are there specific cultural or societal factors that make loneliness more prevalent in some older adults than others, such as living in rural vs. urban areas? 

Lavanya Pillai: Of course! Certain cultural and societal factors can make it more prevalent for some older adults than others. 

• Rural vs. Urban: Older adults living in rural areas often face greater social isolation due to limited access to transportation, community centers, and social activities. It’s like they’re living in a more isolated bubble, with fewer opportunities for connection. 
• Cultural Norms: Some cultures place a higher value on family and community,  which can create a stronger sense of belonging for older adults. Other cultures might have more individualistic values, which can lead to greater feelings of isolation.  It’s about the cultural context shaping their social experiences.
• Immigration Status: Older adults who have immigrated to a new country might face language barriers, cultural differences, and a lack of familiarity with their surroundings, making it harder to build social connections. It’s like they’re navigating a new world, feeling like outsiders. 
• Gender: Women are often more likely to experience loneliness in later life due to factors such as longer life expectancies, the loss of a spouse, and societal expectations that place a greater emphasis on their caregiving roles. It’s like they’re bearing a heavier burden of social isolation. 
• Socioeconomic Status: Older adults with lower socioeconomic status might have fewer resources to access social activities, transportation, or support services,  making them more vulnerable to loneliness. It’s like they’re facing a double whammy of social isolation and financial hardship. 

It’s crucial to recognize these cultural and societal factors that contribute to loneliness in older adults, so that, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all older adults, regardless of their background or circumstances. It’s about creating a society where everyone feels like they belong. 

1Twenty80: Loneliness is often seen as a private issue, but it has significant economic costs,  especially in older populations due to increased healthcare needs. How can policymakers prioritize social connection as part of public health strategies for the elderly? 

Lavanya Pillai: You’re absolutely right. It’s like a ripple effect, impacting healthcare costs, productivity,  and overall well-being. Here’s how perhaps policymakers can prioritize social connection  as part of public health strategies for the elderly: 

• Invest in Community-Based Programs: Allocate funds to support community  centers, senior hubs, and intergenerational programs that promote social  connection and engagement. It’s like investing in a network of support, creating a  safety net for older adults. 
• Expand Access to Transportation: Provide subsidies or affordable  transportation options to help older adults access community centers, social events, and healthcare appointments. It’s about breaking down barriers to  participation, making it easier for them to stay connected.
• Integrate Social Prescribing: Train healthcare professionals to identify and  address loneliness in their patients, and to refer them to community-based  programs and activities. It’s about a holistic approach to well-being, recognizing  the social determinants of health. 
• Promote Age-Friendly Communities: Develop policies and initiatives that make  communities more age-friendly, such as accessible transportation, public spaces,  and housing options. It’s about creating an environment where older adults feel  welcome, respected, and included. 
• Raise Awareness Through Public Campaigns: Launch public awareness  campaigns to educate the public about the impact of loneliness on older adults  and encourage people to reach out to those who might be struggling. It’s about  breaking down the stigma and fostering a culture of compassion and support. 
• Support Research and Data Collection: Fund research to better understand the  causes and consequences of loneliness in older adults, and to develop effective  interventions. It’s about evidence-based policymaking, ensuring that programs  are effective and impactful. 

Investing in social connection isn’t just about improving the lives of older adults; it’s about creating a healthier and more resilient society for everyone. By prioritising social connections as part of public health strategies, we can build a future where everyone feels valued, connected, and supported.

As we conclude this series, it’s evident that loneliness touches all stages of life, from childhood to the elderly. While the challenges are different, the need for connection remains universal.

By understanding these issues and promoting stronger bonds within families, communities, and beyond, we can work towards a future where loneliness is no longer a silent struggle for anyone.

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