In spite of difficult feelings, forgiving someone is not for the sake of the person that hurt you, but for yourself.
Forgiveness is done for your own bliss. When you hold on to pain, bitterness and anger, it can harm you significantly more than it hurts the wrongdoer. As Confucius said about retribution, “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Reliving the wrong that was done to you keeps you living in the past and missing the beauty in the present.
Read on and take a look at some ways that could help you forgive those who have hurt you:
#1 Be the better person
Set aside some time for yourself to process your outrage and hurt. Let the person know how you feel and ask questions that can help you with getting some closure. This step also helps the other individual as it will set new limits to avoid the same mistake from being repeated.
Some useful methods that are practiced include talking to a close friend or write down your feelings and thoughts in a diary. Be sure to comprehend your sentiments and express them through these channels.
Try placing yourself in the other person’s position. As difficult as it might be, trying to comprehend why he or she feels hurt in your relationship is extremely significant. Understanding the situation does not mean accepting it fully, but it’s a step towards forgiving.
#2 Forgiveness is the final form of love!
The quickest way to a tranquil world is by showing compassion and love towards others. In reality, forgiveness does not revolve around romantic love, rather it’s more about serving others (friends and family). It is important to have good communication skills between you and the other individual. Nevertheless, it is essential to avoid pseudo listening. Pseudo listening occurs when you’re ignoring or only partially listening to the other individual. By listening, you are improving the situation that will help you forgive the faults of others. Imagine working on these skills by listening more, being less selfish, doing things for others, and trying to forgive. Some people are naturally more forgiving than others, but if you’re able to work on these skills, then you can learn to be more forgiving too.
#3 Put pride aside
Sometimes, your pride could be holding you back from having the capacity to completely pardon anyone from their mistake. Putting your pride, outrage and hatred aside enables you to accept the individual that has inflicted pain on you and forgive them. As you let go of all these negative feelings, you might find compassion and understanding when you learn to forgive.
#4 Be open to forgiving
The only way to open up to forgiving someone else is by reflecting on your actions first. How would you feel if you made a mistake? Think about a time when you craved for forgiveness. Not to mention, you wanted to be freed from the scar that you left on the person you’ve cause hurt.
If you have the willpower to recognise the times that you demanded forgiveness, then you may be able to see the value in forgiving another individual. Looking inward will help you practice the skill of empathy. With this in mind, you can assess yourself more often, then you’ll be more careful of your own approach towards others because you eventually know what it feels like to be hurt.
#5 Do not fear forgiving
Don’t be afraid to forgive. Instead, allow yourself to continue to forgive others. Forgiveness doesn’t justify the action made by someone. However, it brings peace that helps you to move forward in your life.
After all, forgiveness is very important in life but the reason we’re able to maintain the very important relationships in our lives is because of forgiveness.
Sources: Mayo Clinic
