[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Amelia*, 27, was up for promotion at work and it was a big milestone for her because the pay raise would mean she would be able to finally afford to buy a home. When the day came, she went into her manager’s office and found out that the promotion was rescinded. Her manager said that her most trusted colleague had highlighted Amelia’s mistakes and weaknesses to the management and painted her in an unflattering light.
This is a classic case of betrayal and can happen at any stage of life. In Amelia’s case, it stings all the more because she’ll have to push back her plans of getting a home.
Anatomy of a backstabber
The Cambridge dictionary states that a backstabber is someone who says harmful things about you when you’re not there to defend yourself. In addition to saying nasty things, they may scheme behind your back, plotting your downfall.
A backstabber can come in the form of a friend, colleague or even a family member. The closer you are to someone who eventually betrays you, the more hurt you’ll feel. This is normal because you trusted and confided in them your deepest darkest secrets, only to have it used against you.
Dealing with the pain
At first, it will hurt a lot and you may be tempted to confront your backstabber right away but this may backfire. You may say and do things that you will regret afterwards. This is especially if your case is similar to Amelia’s. It’s best not to make a scene at work and remain calm and composed while getting your work done.
An additional thing to note is that your backstabber could be hurting you on purpose to get a reaction out of you. The best way is not to give them the reaction or attention they want and walk away.
Fall back on healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise and positive thinking. Exercise has a preventive effect when it comes to anger. If you find yourself unable to stop thinking about your betrayal and getting angry, put on your running shoes, plug in your headphones and go for a run. Challenge yourself by sprinting whenever a song change comes up. Sprint up until the count of 20 then slow down to your usual running pace. If running isn’t your favoured form of exercise, go salsa dancing or hit the gym and lift some weights! Get moving to occupy yourself by doing something good for your health instead of just sitting at home and stewing by yourself.
Choose forgiveness but not because it makes you ‘better’ than the other person. Forgiving the other person of whatever they’ve done frees you from the clutches of anger and betrayal. It is however, best to distance yourself from this person who doesn’t have your best interests in mind. The most important thing to remember is to always take the high road.
All in all, after any bout of betrayal, you’re bound to be suspicious of everyone and their intentions but don’t let one betrayal kill your faith in other people.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]
