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Dealing With Post-MCO Social Anxiety

28 January
7 min read

As restrictions loosen, some may start to dread the need to step out of the comfort of their own home. How do you deal with those anxious feelings?

As you start receiving invites for social events to celebrate the year end, are you feeling anxious each time an invitation comes in? Is the thought of having to step out of your home to meet others, raising your anxiety levels?

Social anxiety is not uncommon especially if you’ve been confined at home due to the Movement Control Order (MCO). Also known as ‘post-pandemic social anxiety’, having to step out of the comfort of your home after a very long time, can feel nerve-wrecking and Mental Health Therapist from Telos Mental Wellness, Lee Kah Seng explains more about why you’re feeling this way and how to cope with it.

Lee Kah Seng, Mental Health Therapist, Telos Mental Wellness

1Twenty80: What Does Social Anxiety Mean?

Lee Kah Seng: It’s perfectly normal for someone to feel some degree of nervousness during social events. For example, public speaking or having to perform a karaoke in front of your peers.

However, people who have social anxiety experience emotions that are more debilitating than nervousness. They have an irrational fear of being judged and humiliating themselves, so much so that they avoid situations that require them to interact with others. This becomes problematic when social anxiety starts to interfere with one’s daily life, affecting domains such as work, relationships, studies and social life. Some of the common triggers for social anxiety are meeting or talking to strangers, making eye contact, or starting conversations.

However, Covid-19 has given rise to a ‘new’ type of social anxiety, loosely referred to as ‘post-pandemic social anxiety’. The common signs and symptoms include feeling that one has ‘forgotten’ how to talk to people, feeling socially awkward when meeting friends (new or old) in-person, feeling a lack of confidence in reading social cues, finding small talks to be more mentally and emotionally exhausting than before and in some cases, worrying about the appropriateness of their social behaviour (such as a person who used to hug their family members might feel pressured to do so when they meet, although he/she feels more safe to have zero contact or a person might worry that meeting their friends and family in-person might lead to them transmitting the Covid-19 virus and endangering each other).

The common signs and symptoms include feeling that one has ‘forgotten’ how to talk to people, feeling socially awkward when meeting friends in-person, feeling a lack of confidence in reading social cues, finding small talks to be more mentally and emotionally exhausting than before and in some cases, worrying about the appropriateness of their social behaviour.

1Twenty80: Is it normal for people to feel anxious after being confined for so long?

Kah Seng: Absolutely. Individuals who were socially anxious before the pandemic started might have welcomed the Movement Control Order (MCO) set by the government with open arms. The stay-at- home order, working from home, and the lack of social activities might offer a little bit of respite during that time but as the restrictions are being lifted, the feeling of dread and anxiety when thinking about the prospect of socialising might start to creep in. Whilst avoiding the outside world might have felt good, it could be something that reinforces a person’s social anxiety.

A contributor for post-pandemic social anxiety could be solitude inertia. At the beginning of the pandemic, it might take awhile for a person to adjust to staying at home all day, not being able to see their colleagues, friends, and loved ones for extended periods of time (other than virtually). However, as time goes by, we learn to adapt to the so-called ‘new normal’. Lo and behold, after months of doing so, we find that we actually quite enjoy this ‘new normal’. What happened is that we learned to adapt to solitude and it became almost like second nature to us, it became our normal. Therefore, when it’s time to revert to the ‘old normal’, we dread the thought of doing all the things we haven’t done in so long and become anxious.

1Twenty80: To top it off, how does the pandemic affect a person’s anxiety level?

Kah Seng: I read a study recently that compared the anxiety levels of approximately 1000 Malaysians between May 2020 and September 2020. The results were staggering! About 30 percent of participants reported anxiety symptoms in May 2020 when the study started, but 55 percent reported anxiety symptoms when the study concluded in September 2020. So it goes to show that the pandemic does have an impact on one’s anxiety level, but how?

One of the biggest contributors is the way that the world has reacted to the pandemic is truly unprecedented. No one has had to stay at home for months on end, practically shut out from the outside world. We couldn’t even do many of the things that we took for granted previously such as meeting friends over a cup of coffee or going for a quick exercise session at the gym during this time. We didn’t have any experience or any knowledge about what is going to happen and how we’re going to respond to it. This is something that impacted people from all walks of life. Students were in the dark for a long time about when they could return to school, or whether/when they had to sit for their exams whereas the working adult had to worry about whether their businesses would sustain or the state of their finances if they received a pay cut or lost their job during this time. In short, the pandemic caused uncertainties in the economics, education, political and social sectors. This uncertainty about what the future brings then breeds anxiety.

1Twenty80: How do a person manage Post-MCO social anxiety?

Kah Seng: One of the things a person can do to manage their post-pandemic social anxiety is by starting a journal to help them identify what sort of situations trigger social anxiety, what their thoughts and responses are, then coming up with a plan for managing when anxiety strikes.

#1 MANAGING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

A person can also work on managing negative thoughts that come automatically when anxiety strikes. They can start by identifying some cognitive distortions that contribute to their anxiety and challenging them, then replacing them with more rational thoughts.

They can learn some relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, body scan, guided imagery, and other mindfulness based relaxation techniques. These techniques can help a person to manage and cope in anxiety provoking situations.

#2 TALK ABOUT IT

Another strategy is to simply talk about it. That individual could reach out to their support system (friends, family and people they trust) and share their thoughts and anxieties. It can be very helpful to speak about it, and sometimes when doing so, we might even learn that we are not alone in feeling that way. Also, letting others know allows them to understand what we’re going through. After all, people are not able to help us if we refrain from sharing our issues with them.

#3 SPEAK TO A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL

Lastly, do consider speaking to a mental health professional such as a therapist or a clinical psychologist. Whilst these self-help strategies may be helpful, it is not a replacement for seeking appropriate mental health support. Seeing a therapist might allow you to better understand what is happening emotionally, physically and mentally when anxiety strikes. After that, the therapist can introduce coping skills & ensure the person is utilising them correctly to help them manage and overcome our anxieties.

1Twenty80: How can others play a role in helping a person manage social anxiety?

Kah Seng: One of the most important things when considering giving support to someone experiencing social anxiety is to practice empathy. Criticising, or brushing off and belittling their anxieties can make someone feel inadequate. This would then increase their likelihood of withdrawing socially, which would make matters worse. Even a simple statement to show empathy such as, “I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this” is infinitely better than a statement such as, “Oh come on, don’t be such a wuss”. Remember, a person who is socially anxious is terrified of the idea that they’re being judged, so try not to make them feel like they are viewed as inferior.

Additionally, we should try our best to be a good listener when someone who is socially anxious speaks. We should pay attention, ask open-ended questions to show our curiosity and interest about the topic they are talking about, reflecting their content to ensure we’ve understood them correctly, and of course, to not interrupt when they’re speaking, as that might make them feel worse. Interrupting one’s train of thought could trigger anxious thoughts and feelings. Also, we should try to avoid overly personal questions unless we know the person very well. Asking questions that are too intimate might make them feel interrogated and cause them to clam up. Many people who are socially anxious tend to enjoy listening to others compared to speaking about themselves anyway. As such, a helpful tip would be to share something about yourself (that you’re comfortable sharing, of course) to help to break the ice.

Since businesses are slowly beginning to reopen and operating at higher capacities, then one of the things employers can consider doing if they have employees who are socially anxious is to slowly and gradually introduce them back to the office. For example, instead of doing an immediate transition from Work From Home (WFH) full-time to Work From Office (WFO) full-time, employers can consider gradually increasing their WFO duration over the course of a few weeks.

Lastly, one of the biggest and most practical ways one can help socially anxious friends/family is to encourage them to seek appropriate mental health support if they are struggling. We can help that person to get support by assisting them in finding qualified mental health professionals around the area, making an appointment together or even accompanying them to their appointment.